We talked & yelled and it feels alot better.



reading to clear the brain.

Having him home all the time is driving me to go crazy.

I don't even know how to start this entry... except I admit I am a judgmental and bitchy person.

We have new 2nd floor neighbors and we will have to stop using the driveway to the left of the house because it is for them. HOWEVER, they are moving in right now and my car is temporarily parked in the driveway until tomorrow, which I will move it when I go to work and park it on the side street. BUT before I can do that tomorrow, our new neighbors have decided to park their ghetto ass car behind my car! So... my car is blocked in the driveway.

I am furious! My husband thinks it is over because they will move it. They fucking better! I have work tomorrow morning and they don't wanna meet me in the morning because I will cut heads off! ::deep breathe::

I judge because they are big, loud, hispanic and remind me of my child hood growing up with my dad's family. When you grow up in a loud environment, you either become the same thing loud and rude or become the opposite. I am the opposite. I speak clearly. I am courteous to others.

Its a part of my that is not flattering by any means, but I can not change that part of me. Just like they cant change who they are, I just don't like them.

I enjoy the peaceful street I live on, and I don't want it to be taken away from me. I will be so devastated and crushed. It gives me a lot of anxiety.

Clarity - I am not ready for children and a family.

Sometimes I wonder about people. How can he always say everything is ok, or yes I moved the transaction date we are all set. THEN WE ARE NOT ALL SET!!! Omg it's so fucking frustrating to have that kind of person around me.

Don't get me wrong, I love him with all my heart but come on!!! Stop being lazy and double check everything before opening your mouth. It feels like he just wants to shut me up OR have ME do all the hard work. I make calls and get things done damn it. Just because you don't want to do it, it doesn't mean you can run away from it.

This is dedicated to you. Shape up!

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I really don't like working in the Methuen branch of my job. I feel like Ugly Betty, but not really. Here is what I mean - I am a people person and try to be very courteous while the other girl likes to swear and talk a lot of slang. I do my work fast and efficiently, the other girl makes fun of my because I'm too fast and I should try and slow down so she doesn't look bad. FUCK YOU!

SO uneducated, SO ghetto, SO rude.

I am not a prejudice person either, I came from the ghetto but the difference is I CHOSE to educate myself and not be a statistic. I was born in Bronx, NY and raised in Brooklyn and Lowell, MA. I understand the way things are I just don't think it is appropriate in the work place.

Now the reason I referred myself to Ugly Betty is because she doesn't fit into the mold at her job site, and I don't either. I refuse to lose myself and change to be like one of them. I like who I am damn it!

I feels good to let this out somewhere. I dont like to complain about my job because its close to home and I am still employed. With the ways things are now a days I want to hold onto work.

This is my outlet.

I came across my livejournal again and figured life is pretty boring right now, so what the hell.

Things seem a little boring right now for me, maybe because I work a new shift requiring me to be home alone from 8am - 12am with nobody but my cat, or maybe its because I am a married woman and all the fun of planning is over, not to mention the attention has been taken off me again. I like to tell myself and other "please, no attention" but during my wedding I really enjoyed it. I usually fight to get attention and it came so easily. I think I was spoiled by it. lol

The real thing is that, I am realizing I need to start paying attention to myself and MY needs. What do I want? Looking back at my entries I realized I was high and low and everything in between...

I want clarity.

dedicated to me!

thats right, i now belong to the world of sports bras. for at least the next 3 weeks says my surgeon. not that i have an issue with sports bras, in fact i could never fit into one. I cant wait to be healed enough for regular bras. sigh. i am unsure what size i am yet because the swelling is still there and my breasts are more quished back from guaze. they wont be "formed" for another 2-3 weeks. at least they are perky! hahah

jennie is playing the waiting game with her boobs. (ha-ha)

peace out.

TODAY I AM HAVEING MY BREAST REDUCTION SURGERY! I AM FINALLY READY TO CLOSED A CHAPTER IN MY LIFE AND START A NEW ONE! WISH ME LUCK!!!

XOXOXO

Juno was a good movie... i am loving the music!

happy new year everyone!

I hope everyone had a great Christmas! For some reason it didn't feel the same this year..

Happy Holidays Everyone!

So after much talk with my plastic surgeon we are going to postpone my surgery to march. We both agree I am losing weight and want to wait until I've hit my wall so I am stable. He doesn't want me looking like a football player. HAHA He's the best surgeon!

My next step is to get a personal trainer for the gym I am a member of.

I like roller coaster's but not in my life. That's what it feels like lately.

good: my mom's surgery went great, not cancer!
bad: my great uncle was buried in puerto rico
good: joe may get a job promotion at work
bad: the snow sux!

hahah thats how things are going. I want to weekend here already.

FUCK YOU SNOW!!!!

DESTINATION: HOME

DEPARTURE TIME: 4:30 PM FROM WORK (METHUEN, MA)

ARRIVAL TIME: 6:00 PM

my great uncle died... he was in his late 40's and he had HIV and cancer of the stomach. He got the HIV from drug use... he passed away today in the early afternoon and he only weighed 60 lbs. all this information was told to me from my uncle in new york. My great uncle ralphie is no longer alive and its killing me inside. Whenever I walked to blocks of 62nd & 3rd of brooklyn nobody will be home.

what hurts too is I cant mourn him properly because in his will he wanted to be sent to Puerto Rico... So his body leaves N.Y on friday to P.R.

I miss you Tio Ralphie.

So I am in search of a holiday dress and omg this is what came up on google LOL

http://www.jesusdressup.com/

omg its 12:30 and I SO should be sleeping! I am watching The Hills: Lauren Looks Back... I should be sleeping for work. sigh. Oh well, I'll sleep later. : )